How to write a 90's Bollywood Movie Plot-line in 10 steps

Hi everyone! 

Moving from the previous "fuck this is deep" post, here's a lighter one! 

Recently, I went on a not-too-old bollywood movie run (somewhere between time of 1990 and 2005)

They follow this pattern, you know? It's like they have a guide book for writing a story that's unavailable to public. So I thought to be fair and give everyone the "Key To Success"

After binge watching a bunch of movies repeatedly, here is the "Saphalta ki Chaabi"

How to write a 90's Bollywood Movie Plot-line :

1. Begin with Amitabh Bachchan-like narration : No movie ever begins without a God-like voice narrating the opening scene. Often philosophical quotes, or just random talks about the universe and love.

2. Introduce boy :  To make a Bollywood movie, it is a MUST to have your male lead character’s name start with an ‘R’. 
No R= No star. 
Eg. Rahul, Raj, Rohan, Rohit, etc.
The boy obviously has to be introduced below the age of 16. If not, then childhood recaps are vital.
Boy has to be “Natkhat” and “Sharaati”. He has to be a “Maa ka ladla”
 No questions asked about that.

3. Introduce Girl : Like R for boys, Girls have ‘P’ and ‘S’. 
Eg. Priya/Pooja and Simran/Sanjana.
Girl has to be younger to the boy because Indian mentality.  Ek-do mahino ka difference bhi nahi chalega.
Girl has to be “Susheel” and “gharelu”. Sanskaar has to be an inbuilt feature or the functions of a maid just have to be taught before marriage. She can wear whatever the fuck she wants to before marriage but after marriage – only salwaar kameez and (sexy) saaris (Because Indian Logic)

4. Begin Love Story : 
Boy meets girl 
-> Love at first sight 
-> No balls to admit 
->Boy becomes an ‘Aawara Paagal Deewana’ 
-> Begin surreal desperate attempts to woo the girl into an unofficial relationship. (Following the girl, Sending lousy love letters, Doing fuckall things to get her attention) 
-> Girl (instead of getting a restraining order,) falls for boy
-> Countless scenes showing they love each other (preferably all in lush fields or because ‘kheto mein privacy hoti hai’, or in Switzerland)

5. Introduce Family/Backgrounds: Really simple - Boy’s family doesn’t give a fuck about his love life. Girl’s family stalks her like an ex-girlfriend on facebook.

6. Introduce Problem/Villian : Usually caused by girl’s over-protective family by discriminating and judging, and by the boy’s ‘Idgaf, I can’t deal with your fucked up family’ attitude.
The girl ALWAYS has to go through the “meri shaadi pakki ho gayi hai. Kal mera vivaah ho raha hai” phase. She mandatorily has to be engaged to another guy (decoy boy) in order to get married to the original boy. The decoy boy has to be perfect in every way in the eyes of her parents – basically everything that the original boy can’t be (i.e, rich).
During the shaadi of the decoy boy and girl, just when it is about to be officiated, the original boy has to say some shit to stop the shaadi (“I object” or “Yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti”). 
I mean, they can save themselves all this drama and clear all this shit by just talking it out BEFORE the shaadi, but then you would lose 75% of the script. So this step is very important.

7. Solve Problem : Problem Solving = Change of heart by realizing “woh dono ek dusre se pyaar karte hai”. Original boy stops shaadi, creates unnecessary drama, but finally the girl’s family gives in. People think he has 'won her parents' hearts', but the truth is, they just can’t have the society think that they are judgmental mofos who discriminate and judge.

8. Get married : After decoy boy is kicked out of the picture, and replaced by original boy in the wedding scene, continue with the marriage. Everyone has to look extra happy with this wedding in comparison with the pehla wala even though they hate it. Tears of joy are a must in this scene.

9. Show future of boy and girl : Ideal future scene - Gaadi, Bangla, 2 bachche, ek naukar aur ek kutta. If you’re a little on budget, just show kids playing in a garden and boy and girl standing at a distance looking at them with tears in their eyes. If you're really low on budget, then just show the boy and girl " pretending to make out". They can't kiss because your viewers will either get a heart attack or a boner.

10. Amitabh Bachchan-like narration : “Toh yeh thi kahani ek ladka aur ek ladki ki” (Yeah, no shit, Sherlock). No movie ends without a conclusive narration by the same God-like voice about how boy and girl are living "happily ever after". Every movie ends "happily ever after" because this is not reality.

So there you have it! A 90’s Bollywood movie in 10 easy steps!

Now, go, you puddle full of talent! Go write your own movie *tears of joy*

AND SHARE because hum dono ek dusre se pyaar karte hai<3

Until next time guys,
Kabhi alvidaa naa kehna,

PS. If you guys want me to give you all a list of movies that actually have followed this plot-line, please contact me or just comment. I shall give it to you. 

The secret to my happiness : Re-Belle in me

Hi everyone.

A lot of you all have been asking me where my literature blog (Words of an ordinary girl) went. Well, let me just bring it out in the open -

I DELETED IT

Why?

Because it was depressing as fuck.

I know every teenager has to go through that shit, and I should "embrace my past" and yada yada, but really?

REALLY?

I would rather move on than remind myself of my past - everyday.

Meaning of "La Re-Belle"

Now that we are over that bit, Let me explain the purpose of this blog and how it is different from the previous one.

"La Rebelle" which means 'the rebel' in French is a blog about my current 'so called' rebellious life. I went through things before and spent hours crying over it and blamed everyone for my mistakes. But turning into who I am now and doing things my way has made me a happier person, and in some ways, more mature. My way or the highway, you know? I make my own decisions, I choose my own path, I make my own mistakes, and at the end of the day, I have myself to blame for them. I just can't instantly get over it, but I learn to not repeat them.

I'm not exactly a rebel. A rebel is aggressive and negative. I'm a 'Re-belle'

The word "Belle" means "beauty/beautiful" in French, thus, I'm going to refer to my positive rebellious attitude (or whoever the fuck I am-.-) as "Re-belle" - It's a beautiful kind of rebelliousness.

Why I'm a 'Re-belle'

Before, life was never happy go lucky. Life was always "oh shit, my world is crashing down" EVERYDAY. I cared about what people thought of me, I took their 'advice' and things never really worked out. So this one fine day, I decided to shut them up. I went through shit my way. I did what made me happy and didn't justify my actions. It doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. I'm the nicest, most innocent girl you'll ever come across, but I want to learn and experience things, and not have the easy way out. I realized my true happiness was in this feeling of independence.

I'm my own person. I don't need someone to help me get over things. I don't need a shoulder to cry on. I'm not insensitive, I'm just strong.

I take my time, my space, think, sometimes overthink, and then I just let it pass. I cry, take a day or two off, I'm human. But I don't let things get to me like they did - because end of the day, I have myself to blame.. which brings us to

How I deal with the hate

I'm well aware of the fact that 'hate' is a very strong word, so don't even think of saying "aww, nobody hates you", cuz fuck you, a lot of people do. I'm not a big time bitch, and neither do I have an ego, but hate is just a part of life that we all must deal with. People like me, we don't really give a damn. We love looking at all the hate we get from other people and start laughing at it because we can't be shitted to deal with your drama. We like to experience things and decide for ourselves whether its right or wrong.

There are 4 kinds of people you will receive hate from in life (in ascending order of how grave) :

1. From the bored, judgmental people : People will be people and the society will be bored, so whats the best thing to do when you're bored? You judge other people and see what they are doing wrong (note: purely sarcastic explanation. don't fucking take galat matlab). They'll take out every flaw in your life and curse you for it, as if they never made the same mistakes themselves. They will portray your every mistake as a reason for you to not live. There you have it - 99 mistakes you made reasons to kill yourself. Your misery is their entertainment.

They won't be nice to your face. But hey, at least they won't have a two faced personality like #2

We don't take this seriously. We laugh cuz its stupid judgment and we pretend these people don't exist.

"Saw you hanging out with those shady boys that day. Better take care of yourself."

"Saw you at that club. You drink a lot, don't you?

2. From the jealous people : These are the kind of people who wish they were you. They wish they were so open-minded. They wish they could do the things you do,without giving a fuck about what people from #1 think. But no matter how much they try to, they will always succumb to the society's decision. They will never go against what the world says because "they want to play it safe". They will act like they are your best friends and in your absence, they will gang up with the same kind of people and entertain themselves by hating on you.

Now my kind, we are upfront and honest people. We don't have two faces and neither do we tolerate them. So either we'll laugh at your stupidity and pretend you don't exist, or we'll show you who's the boss.

"Hey! Is that your boyfriend? He's 4 years older? Well love has no age!"

"Did you guys see she's dating someone 4 years older to her. They won't last"

Well guess what? That old aunty uncle have the age difference of 14 years. Go tell them.

3. From your loved ones : This is the most genuine kind of hate. This is more love than hate, in reality. You know how your mom says "Don't do this, what will people think?", she means it in the most GENUINE way possible. She loves you and feels protective of your feelings. We all are humans at the end of the day, right? Personal experience : I'm not allowed to wear shorts on the streets in my city. My parents and I often get into big fights over this, because I feel I can wear whatever the fuck I want and can deal with things on my own. But looking at it practically, they're right. There are sleazy men in this town and they look at girls in short clothes with a dirty eye. I'm physically incapable of dealing with them. So no matter how much hate I receive from my loved ones for being this way, I know they are right to have my best interest in mind. Any parent would feel protective of their child.

We react to this kind of hate in two steps - 1. We roll our eyes and think we are right and continue making our own decisions. 2. We are then proven wrong and blame ourselves for the same - Which brings us to the last kind - #4

4. From yourself : This is the most difficult kind of hate you can deal with, but it's also the best kind of hate in my opinion. We don't really bother with the first three. We feel to lazy to even respond to them cuz we think its utter rubbish. But what if its from yourself? What if it's a fight with yourself? Then what do we do?

You know how I said "End of the day, I have myself to blame..."?

We blame ourselves all the time for making the mistakes we make. Its difficult because you can't put the blame on someone else and get away with things. You can't say "It's not my fault" because it sure as hell is your own fault - You made the decision. It's difficult because you can't justify yourself. If you take responsibility of something, and you make a decision thinking it will work, and then you fail at it - You are more accountable to yourself than anyone else.

So you hate yourself, and there is nothing you can do to get over that feeling. But you see how you learn from this? You learn to not make the same mistake twice. Had someone else made the same mistake, you'd say "let's give it a try" and make it yourself the second time. But when you make it on your own, you learn from them. They maybe small mistakes like breaking some'thing', but they maybe big mistakes also, like breaking some'one'.

And we lock ourselves up and break down and sometimes cry over this, we sometimes fall apart, not knowing how to move on, but we put up a brave face either way, because we don't want the world to see or to know we are vulnerable at that point. We eventually let time heal things for us and let go of it, because we are incapable of dealing with this kind of hate.

That's the thing about us, that people don't know. They think we are highly insensitive to things and don't have feelings. They just don't see that we are humans too. They think we are negative- but no, we are actually the happiest kind of people there ever will be - which brings us to the next bit...

Ideology of a Re-belle.

No matter how rebellious my life maybe, I have certain rules I have made for myself, keeping in mind my past experiences. Re-belle is the nice kind of rebel you know?

1. No judgment : Somebody hates you? You love them twice as much as they hate you. Discrimination between sexuality, gender, religion, color, relationship decisions and beliefs - none of those matter. You love everyone equally. You NEVER discriminate, you never judge.

2. Care about someone else's emotions : You are sensitive, not to your own emotions but to someone else's. It doesn't matter how you feel, because you'll get over that shit - Others won't deal with it as easily as you will. You care if someone cries. You care if someone is sad. You care like they are your family at that point.

3. Happiness at someone else's expense is no happiness at all : Being a Re-belle means doing things that make you happy, no matter what people say. But hurting someone and finding happiness is equal to no happiness. So you never intentionally try to harm someone or cause trouble in anyone else's life.

4. Be protective about YOUR people : What I mean by 'Your People' is that tiny bunch of people who you know are there for you when you let your emotions take over and crash. They'll never judge you because they know what its like to be in your place. We are all humans at the end of the day and me saying "I don't need anyone to comfort me" does not mean I don't want anyone to comfort me. These are the people who have been/will be there for you. Some call them 'best friends', some call them 'soul siblings', some just call them 'friends'. It doesn't matter what you call them because you know what they are to you and they know what you are to them.

5.Never follow anyone's footsteps : Call it an ego problem (which I know it's not), but I do not believe in having an idol. I don't believe in being like someone. It doesn't make sense to me. I believe in being my own person. I believe in learning from my own mistakes and that is helping me be better everyday. A first hand experience with situations hits you harder than a second hand experience.

6. Apologize even when it isn't your fault : Admit when you are wrong. Sorry doesn't make you a smaller person. It makes you the bigger person. Sometimes, you know when you are right, but you choose to apologize. You choose to say "that one word" that the world refrains from using now, mainly because of four reasons. One, It's actually your fault. Two, You care about this person. Three, You are too lazy to defend yourself. and Four, It's pointless trying proving our point because the other person is stubborn and stupid. 

7. Loyalty is the utmost priority : Cheaters, backbiters and dishonest people don't exist in your life. Either they are loyal or you don't give a fuck. Same goes for you. Your loyalty to someone and your self-respect go hand-in-hand.

8. Express your opinion, not force : As a Re-belle, you will find things irksome and you will tend to correct people, not because you want to feel superior, but because it's actually something you feel. Them taking your opinion into consideration or not, is entirely upto them. You can't force your opinion on someone.

9. Be Carefree and open to new things : You can't shut the door on new experiences because these are the experiences you long for. You know whats right and wrong for you and you do what makes your happy.

10. No regrets : Everything you say and do, you do it on your own will. Nobody is forcing you to do it. So you aren't allowed to regret your decisions once the outcome is shown.

11. Be headstrong and clear-headed : Being confused isn't a possibility. Its either a yes, or a no. Its that simple.

12. Zero drama : I realize being a Re-belle has benefited me in so many ways, but mostly, that all the drama in my life is down the drain. I enjoy looking at people trying to add drama into my life because it's kind of impossible.

13. Live everyday : You take life one day at a time. There's something new to learn everyday and you do everything you feel like doing that day.

14. Be happy :  You can't come off as negative. We are Re-belles and not Rebels. Get the difference. We show we are happy even when we are not, because the world will jump at you when you are at your lowest. Remember #1 kind of people to receive hate from? "Your misery is their entertainment." 

15. Self-sufficiency is vital : You don't need anyone to please you. Pfft. You don't need anyone to tell you it's going to be okay. You know yourself it's going to be okay. But know the difference between want and need. Sometimes its okay to want to depend on someone for comfort, but the most difficult part about being a Re-belle is that you cannot depend on other people. Being self-sufficient is important because at the end of the day, people come and go and you have to accept that.
Being alone, but not lonely, is key.

16. BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR OWN SELF: This is one rule we struggle with. We know we are humans and not robots, but we still treat ourselves like the latter. We function day in and day out without anyone knowing how we feel inside when we are dealing with shit. But its okay to break down. Being self-sufficient doesn't mean you can't break down. It means that you can't rely on someone to clear your mess for you. You go ahead and fall apart, you have every right to. But pick up your pieces and get your life back on track, on your own. Re-belles often lock themselves up and cry over things. We're humans and we cry, big deal? That's our way of getting over it

17. Imperfection is perfection : You can't always have it perfect. Accept your make mistakes and move on. Its as simple as it gets.

18. Give yourself enough space and time to grow : Maybe the most difficult rule. We, in reality don't give ourselves space and time to grow and come over things. We just slide it under the rug because we can't be shitted to deal with all that non-sense. So this one crucial rule - TAKE TIME, TAKE YOUR OWN SPACE. Think. Re-think. Think over and over again. Talk to yourself. Talk to someone else if it makes you feel any better and gives you closure. But just take that space and time. Don't think you're always perfect in your ways and it's okay to shun your feelings. It's not. Heck, its okay to shun the people who make you feel that way, but it sure as hell isn't okay to shut yourself to emotions.

19. Know that Love exists : Life can be difficult with all that hate. But Love does exist. It doesn't necessarily have to be love from a boyfriend/husband. Your family loves your. Your people/friends love you. A lot of people will love you when you spread the happiness that you have. Love exists and it's beautiful.

20. Live and Love and Let go: Your words to live by. Its not live and let live. You live and LOVE. Live, because you've got a life to live. Love, because you must give back what you get. Let go, because it will ALWAYS be okay.

21. Break all the rules when you feel like it : HEY! It's your life, remember?

---x---

This brings me to the end of the description of my life at this point. I'm terming this person I've become as "Re-Belle" so we don't get confused in the future.

I'll see you guys in my next post where I'll talk about more feelings n shizz.

You guys can comment below and let me know what you guys think of this BS that I'm upto (ache se)

Until next time, Love and more love,

The Re-Belle.